All shit!!!!!!

This CIMA shit was something that I wanted to stop way back. But my parents persisted that I should be doing it and now I have the repercussions in my hand!!!!! Failed both the subjects I did last time!!!!! One subject I knew would have failed before I even sat for the exam.. The other one was what I really hoped I would pass.....But oh shit I've failed it by a whisker juz 3 marks....And the money juz gone down the drain!!!!!

The mid term exams are coming around the corner. And pretty busy these days.... And my angel that I'm going after well it's still like that nothing new about it..Still couldn't muster the courage to go and speak to her!!!

An issue rose regarding a posting in the forum @ SLIIT where I got into a row with one idiot who couldn't take the idea of freedom of speech!!!! That bugger was juz attacking one of ma friends who had posted a useful link, which was appreciated by a lot of our fellow students there..... And I joined forces with ma friend and started the row. And after several postings the guy was humiliated from his head to toe. And the fellow students also get into the act by posting there support... The guy was so humiliated that I got the information from one of my friends that this guy was searching for us to hammer us and to cover up his humiliation... Both my friend and me was freaked out for sure, coz this guy was actually 2 years senior than us. I don know whats the situation about that guy now, but I'm not sure whether he's given up the search or if he's still on the look. All the same I'd hope he's given upppp!!!!!!

Life goes on rollin.... This kind of lull has set on ma life it seems... I don know it's strange...

White flags.....

Sad times..My grandma's elder sister died and had to attend the funeral today. One thing that I've figured out about me is that I find it very hard to cope up with partings. When some one leaves there's this sudden emotional rush that I get. Although I do my to best stop the tears, emotionally I find it very hard to face them. This person who died knew me well. But of course she was living very far, so we hardly met. But still today I got that emotional rush which I find very strange. Mainly because I know that I'm not that sensitive in a lot of matters. Although I have to say that I have certain matters I find myself very sensitive. I guess this one of them.

I can remember when I was 13 years old my mom went abroad. Just for a month to visit her brother in Aussie. I guess she knew that I would find it hard to face the fact that she's leaving for a month, and both my parents lied to me that she'll be off for some conference and will be back in a short time. But when I found out that she was actually gone abroad I wept my eyes off. Again after 3 or 4 years she went abroad but this time she told me. That time of coz I was older and I fought back my tears. Even then tears were imminent. Now I guess I'm out of that ordeal. But still I find it hard to face some one parting from this world!!!

The thoughts that run through my mind's pretty complex at that sort of time. I mean, I get this sudden realization about life that it's not permanent. And how I'd cope if it would've been some one who I really knew well?????

One things for sure life's not permanent. The only thing thats permanent is change. Thats how life is. But we are still humans and for that fact, according to my beliefs we are yet to attain nibbana for then only we'll lose all this stupid feelings and come into a state of self realization.......

Inverse!!!!

Well it's juz the opposite of the previous week......Every things juz changed upside down. Well overall it was a real good week. Compared to that shit week I had before. Well 1st things first. It was the "GET". It was juz fun from the word go. Got really wasted that night. And partyed till ma legs were numb. Chiks were all over the place. Both from Sliit and from outside. And of coz ma chief guest crush was there too.She looked really nice in a saree... Was gleaming off the crowd for me!!!! But as usual I couldn't get my self together and go ask her out. Well can be excused for the fact that the crush is juz a week or 2 old but the atmosphere and the event was surely made for the occasion. Nywayz other than that had the time of ma life over there. But the guys who did the dj sukd to the max. Poor music and sounds was a real glitch...
Nyway the crowd and the attitude of the ppl made it goin real fun..

Well now lets see the opposites. Last week this particular girl was gonna be there in my cima class which was real annoying thing for me. But all of a sudden she has dropped the subject and that worry is sort of over.

Last week I was sorta blooming with my new found crush. But this guy who use to be one of my friends was actually having a go at her. The shit was that this particular guy is actually from her same batch and is actually quite a good friend f her. Now this would only spell one thing and that's "B.U.L.L...S.H.I.T". I'm sorta out of sorts these days. Coz this guy actually knows me having a crush on this gal, and things aren't that good between us. Although we talk and smile face to face things aren't good inside. I don knw what should I do...Shoud i juz giv way for him and CRUSH MY CRUSH?????

I don knw...... But if somethings gonna happen, it's gonna happen pretty soon. But there's something that I know pretty well, and that's CHIKS AND ME IS SOMETHING WORLDS APART. I've never found myself comfortable with this matter at any point of my life. Juz that I can make friends pretty easily, but can't get myself together to go the distance!!!! So I'm not having very high hopes in this issue aswl.

These kinda stuffs pretty usual for me so I don't get depressed or fall mentally when sumtn goes wrong. Juz that I pick myself from the place where I fell and move on, not correcting myself though. For if I did, these things wouldn't have been repeated!!!!

Really f***ed up

Not the best of times for me....

Was sick for over a week. Now, I'd sorta forgot getting sick(Last time I was sick this bad was over a month ago). And this was a real bitter experience. Coughing in the middle of the lecture snoozing mucus all over the place. Hardly able to breath from both nostrils. Oh and those painful headaches, Juz shit. And to put some icing on the cake I also had a bad stomachache and found myself vomiting in the middle of the town!!!! Had to ask for help from some one to catch a trishaw to get home coz my stomach was really hurting!!!!!!

So obviously with all that drama going around I found myself going through what I would like to call a painful and "wet(mucus)" period. And of coz there were some developments in my life @ SLIIT. All of a sudden i found my self in the middle of a flowering crush with a gal who I use to know when I was very young....... Well to be frank I met her in a class where all of my colleagues were drooling over her....... Wow how things come around!!!

Some shit was also developing with gals for me. Theres this slut named B******. Who I knew when I was doing my A/L's and who was actually one batch senior to me. The story goes on to develop that this particular gal actually got caught kissing the guy who was marking the cards at this particular place. Any how which resulted in getting her fired and her been involved in a relationship with this guy which i suspect is still going on. She also was responsible for nearly 2 affairs inside SLIIT which ended up in ruining the life of a real innocent guy who had big prospects in his education........
Any way I don't think she had any idea of me being in the same class where that particular incident happened. But she was also following cima classes which also was the same place where I was studying at that time. But weekend. I use to talk little with her @ SLIIT, knowing the character. But things changed all of a sudden when she asked me my cima books which for some unknown and strange reason was not with her!!!!! I gave them and there still with her.... All right I don need them o anything. But then I changed my cima institute. And then this particular gal was showing huge interest about my new place..... And out of the blue moon she also changes her classes to the same institute which I was following Cima.

This is shit coz this is the only place where i have been studying properly coz there's hardly any friend of mine there.
No friends + no talk = Studying!!!
now
One slut + lot of talking = Failing!!!!( wasting a lot of money)

Not juz failing coz hanging around with her would mean a lot more aswl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh man I juz got no idea of getting out of this shit...........

Hope I could get things straight soon or I'll end up in stepping inside quick sand!!!( no where out)