Hmmm..

After Sometime..... Ya I know. Wow lot has happened and gone.  I level of self realization is at it's peak i guess.  Well where to start.  As usual my life evolved around a girl last couple months.  Sometimes it makes me think that I 'm some sort of a pervert!!!! But it's me I guess it's natural for a man to have feelings about the opposite sex.  

Alright this particular person, I call her Jello.  I don't know where it came to me.  It sort of rhymed with the word Hello.  You know like hello jello.  Sounded nice. This woman, I wrote on my last blog, well a small introduction.  Not much of an introduction more of my feeelings and how i coped with it.  Yeah i was surprised how far i have matured with my emotions!! 

No point talking about my emotions any more, let me go on with the story. Stuff happened.  Well as in my last post i never wanted to express my feeling towards Jello.  Due to the simple fact that I couldn't do it.  Didn't have the guts.  But i expressed what I felt within myself.  One way I Did so was by creating a vector of her. I sneaked out a picture of her from one of my friends and I drew it. Heres the link of my vector: Jello

Took me 3 days to complete it.  But half way through I sort of realized my pointless creation of this art.  But, well lets juz say it wasn't half way through.  Because most of the art was finished. Anyway I stopped.  Well lets say this creation got into the wrong hands.  One of ma friends saw this and instantly figured out some thing fishy was going on.  And boom he went on to tell her that i had a crush on her!!!

Fuck....  Well I was like... WTF!!  I made myself clear from the start that I wont even make an attempt to express my feelings coz I juz can't do it.  And now what had I got myself into. Well that's not the best part.  Next day night was chatting with her cuz on msn only to hear this. Jello had told her, "Ask 'dollz (a.k.a me)' to stop havn a crush on me"!!! Dump??? no way!!!  I didn't ask her out right? So I wont call it been Dumped.  But, I was confused.  What was I supposed to do?? Scream? Get upset? or juz say 'so what ?' But I had one feeling boiling in my guts.  It was embarrassment *blush.  I'm blushing now while I'm typing.  Next day I found it really hard to come face to face with her!!  

So what did I do?? I had to erase her out of my mind.  Yeah thats what I did.  Forget it.  Unfortunate though.  I enjoyed juz keeping her in my mind but now it was way out of control.  So I juz gave up.  

Well it's rainig these days and raining hard.  Got invited to the imagine cup Sri lanka finals.  Shit scene is we are having our exams next week!! Damn! Cya soon..ciao