My emotions simplified | Definitions

Freakin awesome : This is the best you can get out of me!! I'm just over the moon. And I'm probably out of my senses too. Usually this means I'm up to anything. Would also mean that its dangerous because usually this means I'm up to some mischieve.
Reason for emotion :? Some achievement while playing, Seriously Drunk, Hanging out with ma friends and seriously gone crazy (the friends syndrome), Trying to show off(yeah sometimes I do that | usually to prove something)
Actions :? Loud laughter, Jumping around in different poses, Nothing to loose attitude which result in various acts of mischievousness, In short I'm flying and carefree.

Jolly good : This is my normal chill out mood which I hang around with usually. Usually has a smile. Not always thou. Sometimes it maybe just a smirk. But I'm cruising.
Reason for emotion :? Nothing too over pleasing. Just the normal day to day life's activities which I'm really enjoying.
Actions :? Chirpy behavior, Most of the time I'm dreaming in this gear, imagining stuff about people and about me, Usually lot of stuff go into my mind in this state.

Serious : This is when I'm either studying for my exams or encountered with a real problem that I've taken serious!! This is not that usual and hard to observe. This mood can result in either jolly good or upset depending on the result of the activity I've indulged in.
Reason for emotion :? Studying, Encountered with a problem and I have taken it pretty seriously ( now thats serious!!), decision making, thinking/planning my future(thats a very rare occurrence)
Actions :? Usually my hand is some where in my face (mouth, forehead e.t.c), I maybe wandering around looking clues from the environment, Scratching my head, fiddling with my hair.

Flat : When my emotion'o'meter is going up and down this occurs. This means my positive moods are been negated by my negative moods and vice versa. This usually means rough times.
Reason for emotion :? Happy times or bad times with both of them in the middle.
Actions :? I go all smug sometimes but i can squeeze a laugh or 2. This doesn't occur that often.

Upset : This ain't good. Somethings wrong. Occurs when I'm not happy over something. Not the best of moods. May be a touch aggressive too. CHIK PROBLEMS!!
Reason for emotion :? Usually when i disagree over something, when expected results don't come out from a certain activity, when someone mistreats me, demean or act disrespectfully.
Actions :? A bit pissed sometimes, talks less, thinks a lot, don't get things into my head that quickly or it never actually happens, Smug face.

Super upset : OH boy this isn't good at all. well for a fact this is very rare. Actually I can recall all most all the moments I've been in this mood my whole life. It's that rare and hardly occur.
Reason for emotion :? Well this when I'm really hurt by some one or something. I'm not that good when it comes stuff regarding my mom and partings. So usually this is either one of them. Other than that when I breakup with my friends too I feel this bad but usually it's upset. Then again when a shocking failure comes up I get super upset. Sometimes when I'm shaken by something this happens too.
Actions :? Hardly talks, thinks the whole time, become solitary away from the hustle, Have my eyes glued at the same spot for a really long time, my thoughts are not clear and the things that I get from the outside gets a hell of a lot of time to be processed, my reflexes are really slow and concentration levels are really down.


So that's my array of emotions. The moment I'm writing this entry I'm in a jolly good mode. Who knows maybe I'll juz go freakin awesome or upset in another second!!!

What?? Stopped Vectoring!!!!!

Hmm... Well I've figured out by now the best thing I can do in my life is Vectoring. Which I was so into and well which I seem to have aced a bit. But yep I quit vectoring. Don't know why but i juz felt so. For how long I'll stay out of Vectors? Who knows....

Anyway last couple of weeks were like going on sleigh ride. Up and down. Had my exams.. All 4 on the trot!! DUH!! WTF what was the Sliit admin thinking?? I was soo tired depressed and overwhelmed by all of that exam bullshit. Anyway its over.

Well I have to say last 3 or 4 weeks partying was the name of the game. Had an awesome time jumping form one party to the other. B'day treats and juz pure fun partying. Well the most interesting outing was with ma Maldivian freinds. Who came over to Sri Lanka to watch the SAAF finals between India and Maldives. Apparently Maldives beat us in the Semi Finals 1-0. I got the call to come over and join them. But had no idea where we were going. Only when I got into the car that i figured out we were headed to the match!!!! And wallah we were there and only when I went in I figured that The other side was actually India!!!hahaha The atmosphere was cracking!!! Over 4000 maldives had apeared in Sri Lanka juz to watch the match. And all of'em were here. OMG the live music(there version of papare) And the chiks!!!! Oh yeah.. Maldivian chiks rule. Anyway met our friends and cheered for Maldives and they won. Oh shit these guys like broke into a fervor when the actual goal was scored and it kept on like that till they got the cup. No partying that day. They had there own party with there fellow countrymen. Next day we fixed a time and we met again. This time at Trans Asia. Had an awesome time there. Surprised my frnds wife on her B'day and was all good.

Poson came and went. Had some fun with dansal...hehe. All these days I've been playing cricket like hell. Oh feel so good. What could be better than going out in the sun and playing some good old cricket. So awesome!!!!

Well some one said I should put up a job as a counselor. Well yeah I've been listening to people. As I mentioned before I'm a people person. I love people. But I feel a bit hurt when I hear how cruel people can be. Juz sick!!!

Anyway...Im really enjoying life these days. Waiting for my next semester to kick off. WoW how awesome can that be. A bit nervous about my exam results. Got my IELTS exams next 5th too. Oh and Basil uncles here from Italy. May go out somewhere. Not sure whether I'm going thou. Sister havn exams and all. Hope at least I can get thru. Darn...

A lot to look forward to. Hope everything goes fine...:D

Flat :-|

Ya its flat.:) It's not fine nor its bad. So it's flat. Had some awesome times with my friends. Attended a lot of parties. Ya loads of them. And I shaved my head!!! lol. Feel a lot more lighter. There were odd days I felt a bit down for some certain reasons. Things that made me remind me of my past.

Well one incident was when I watched this movie. Well I watched dozens this past month or 2!! The one I mentioned was "P.S I Love You". Starring Hillary Swank and Gerard Butler. Was awesome, all the while painful. It made me think of Jello. Why? Well I don't know. But the film was superb. But it made me think a lot. And that made me a bit gloomy for a certain period of time.

My Renatacoder life was also kicking off. Got some bids accepted. And got the money too. Also had a client signing me off with private auctions;-) . This is really cool. My facebook time has also drastically dropped. I really didn't have that much hype to really goof around facebook anymore. This would mainly account to the fact that I hardly indulge my self in Fightclub. My favorite application in facebook.

Well all these days I learned a lot from someone. Well she's been through a lot. And some stuff I really don't think she deserves at all. And when I hear them I really think how cruel people can be when it comes to relationships. When I hear all these stories she has gone through I was like, geez I seriously lack drama in my life. She has poured a great part of her experiences to me. And from what I heard I also got to know how women think. Sometimes they are just over conscious about stuff. Relationships are based on trust. And people should know to trust each other. I think this is the main reason why relationships collapse. Anyway she's a wonderful woman and I'm glad to have conversed with her about all her lives adventures. And it's good to know there's always someone whom I can turn on when things just go horribly wrong.

And of course there's this characters I have met long ago but failed to judge who they were and now slowly appearing in bits and pieces who they are what they do and there agendas. This person I'm reffering to is a close friend of mine. Has his own agenda to get to the top. And would sacrifice anything on his way to achieve it. Very social. Can get around anything with his pep talk. And is also a pervert. He's got his own woman (who is a pretty innocent and short sighted woman, also has a poor judgment on people whilst can be fooled very easily) and plays around with many woman who I know and is desperately trying to catch some more birdies I know. Well this ain't my business. So I would not wish to speak further about this person. But I can hardly blame him. For he is a genius of his own trait. So may it be.

I also went to Katharagama with my family. Well it was boring. But also made me wander what people do. I mean there beliefs and how they act upon them. Deities who we worship. Well I don't see anything wrong with that, just that how they worship them is my point of argument. I really don't see any point of offering fruits and money to deities. For what lord Buddha has preached is once you do any work of merit just think that some of these merit that we've done belongs to the deities. Thats it. Thats what the deities want. Well the best part of the trip was the drive. Whoa awesome!!!

So It's been like this for some time now. A lot of thinking, observing and listening. Hardly any actions.Thanx for the fact that it's holidays. I'm on the process of revamping my character. I want to change it!!!! But have to start studying for my exams. Which will kick off some where around the 6th of June. So a lot ahead. And of course the 6 finalists have been announced. Nope we ain't there. But we are just keeping our fingers crossed in been selected for the top 20 at least.... hope fully :) It's over and out.........

it's une superbe vecteur de gelée

Ya its a magnificent Vector of Jello! Hmm ya I did another Vector of Jello.  Thought keeping it for myself this time.  Except for the very few.  It was awesome.  1205 layers, 36 hrs, 1/2 a coke bottle, one full EGB and thats what u get.  What was I thinking??? No idea just did it.  Wasn't overwhelmed after  finishing it.  Well i guess it filled up my emotions when it wasn't going that good.  

What wasn't going that good?? Imagine cup. We screwed up big time!! The Game didn't turn out the way we wanted.  We couldn't get a proper map done due to some errors in our collisions.  So we were all down in the final 48 hours before submitting.  So i turned to good old vectoring to fill me up.  And it did.  Nothing was really happening these days.  Was totally committed to our game and my vector.  Didn't even eat properly.  My sleeping pattern was in a disarray.  Sleeping at odd times and staying up till about 4'o 'clock in the morning.

Hoping to get back to normalcy in the next couple of days.  Had  a rendezvous with jello the other day.  Wow! i have blocked her alright.  Geez couldn't even look at her face.

straddling along this strange path I've found.... I'll juz go on.......

I'm Imagining.....:D

Well things have changd?? I dunno may b it has.  Wow is this the 1st time I'm not bloggin about a gal? lol ya i guess so.  Well i guess my jello has gone for good.  Traces of her still lingers in my head when ever i see her.  But I think it's all gone for good.  To be frank this is what's happening around.  I just can't face her anymore.  so I just blocked her away.  It feels bad, but in a way good :-(. 

Any way lot did happen.  Imagine cup Sri Lanka final were held this week.  Got inviited there.  We were supposed to do a presentation.  And we worked our asses off.  Day and night.  Some of my friends even came over to my place to finish the presentation. And it was 3 in the morning when we all went to sleep.  But all in vain when this organizer just came in and said you are guys ain't doing it due to some screw up in our agenda!!!Oh screw u damn it!! Oh shit come on dud we skipped our exams for this shit!! And i paid 1500 for the taxi!!! We were so pissed and helpless and all fucked up.  I felt like sabotaging the whole function by doing some crazy shit!!!  Anyway got the certificates for the 2nd round qualification.  And that was pretty good coz it was from  MICROSOFT.  And we all expected them to throw away free x-box's to us.  Coz we were like the only 2 teams from Sri lanka to make the finals.  But we only got 2 tea mugs that was it.  So good for our X-box dreams.

As I said before we skipped our examinations for the grand finale. We have to submit our game on the 2nd of may and the finalists will be announced on the 24 th of May.  I badly hope that we would get through.  It will get us free tickets to France and to stay there for about a week.  It would be amazing if it happens.  Just keeping our fingers crossed.  Coz we did a good job in our game.  We used some real cool graphics and the game play seem to be really cool.  the only problem I have is that our game play's relevance to the Imagine cup theme.

I think i should give some insight into our game.  It takes place in the future (year 3008).  Some horrible invention has gone wrong and is now ended up in a mess where thee things called Mechs have over taken us humans.  And the game is all about the fight back.  Where we have to preserve the nature and fight back.  Whilst the Mechs eat up all the vegetation and any living being.  

Well it's still raining on and off.  But its damn hot too.  I've lik been away from social life for some time now.  At home doing my game all the time.  And my social life has been replaced by a virtual life.  IM, Facebook, textin, etc 

One of my cousins back here in Sri lanka. Staying for a shrot while.  They all came to our place for a small dinner.  And my cousins wives sister showed up too.  She's just gorgeous.  I just loved every moment she was there. All right what's wrong of admiring some one who's truly gorgeous.

Thats all i guess for now.  Whos knows what's next in line for me.  I'll post some screen shots of our game too :P

Hmmm..

After Sometime..... Ya I know. Wow lot has happened and gone.  I level of self realization is at it's peak i guess.  Well where to start.  As usual my life evolved around a girl last couple months.  Sometimes it makes me think that I 'm some sort of a pervert!!!! But it's me I guess it's natural for a man to have feelings about the opposite sex.  

Alright this particular person, I call her Jello.  I don't know where it came to me.  It sort of rhymed with the word Hello.  You know like hello jello.  Sounded nice. This woman, I wrote on my last blog, well a small introduction.  Not much of an introduction more of my feeelings and how i coped with it.  Yeah i was surprised how far i have matured with my emotions!! 

No point talking about my emotions any more, let me go on with the story. Stuff happened.  Well as in my last post i never wanted to express my feeling towards Jello.  Due to the simple fact that I couldn't do it.  Didn't have the guts.  But i expressed what I felt within myself.  One way I Did so was by creating a vector of her. I sneaked out a picture of her from one of my friends and I drew it. Heres the link of my vector: Jello

Took me 3 days to complete it.  But half way through I sort of realized my pointless creation of this art.  But, well lets juz say it wasn't half way through.  Because most of the art was finished. Anyway I stopped.  Well lets say this creation got into the wrong hands.  One of ma friends saw this and instantly figured out some thing fishy was going on.  And boom he went on to tell her that i had a crush on her!!!

Fuck....  Well I was like... WTF!!  I made myself clear from the start that I wont even make an attempt to express my feelings coz I juz can't do it.  And now what had I got myself into. Well that's not the best part.  Next day night was chatting with her cuz on msn only to hear this. Jello had told her, "Ask 'dollz (a.k.a me)' to stop havn a crush on me"!!! Dump??? no way!!!  I didn't ask her out right? So I wont call it been Dumped.  But, I was confused.  What was I supposed to do?? Scream? Get upset? or juz say 'so what ?' But I had one feeling boiling in my guts.  It was embarrassment *blush.  I'm blushing now while I'm typing.  Next day I found it really hard to come face to face with her!!  

So what did I do?? I had to erase her out of my mind.  Yeah thats what I did.  Forget it.  Unfortunate though.  I enjoyed juz keeping her in my mind but now it was way out of control.  So I juz gave up.  

Well it's rainig these days and raining hard.  Got invited to the imagine cup Sri lanka finals.  Shit scene is we are having our exams next week!! Damn! Cya soon..ciao 

WOW...is my heart skipping a beat or what????

Wow.....1st of all Sliit has changed and it has changed a lot...Its the time of the freshers. New faces all around. Got some cool faces here and there. Ya Sliit is surely going through that kind of period. More like a blooming season. Mid terms juz finished and it's pretty much fun. Things have changed with me as well. So here it goes.

Well first of all I started my ielts course at Acbt. Which i didnt realy find so interesting. But i did meet some cool friends there of coz with exception of ma two best buddies at sliit. Some elder chiks we got to meet there who seem to be quite cool. Anyway more than what we learn there this was more of an escapade for all of us from the weeks busy buzzin!!!

At the start of the year once the freshers were all over the place we were like on our toes. I mean it was like as if we were fed up seeing the same face over and over again. And as usual some people juz homed in the chiks like vultures!!! And of coz competition was high and so was the stakes. It was pretty funny observing people on there strange mating habits. How people tried different ways to attract the opposite sex!!!!

For once in my life i really did have a clear estimation of my abilities and made a wise decision. As of my history would suggest i suck in expressing my feelings towards the opposite sex. I don't know if its my guts or my self confidence that should be blamed for this. But anyway thats the HARSH COLD TRUTH!!! So this time without breaking my heart into another thousand pieces I decided its best for me too keep my feelings at bay and juz sit it out. like any other time even this time one single female was isolated inside my stupid brain. But this time it as different coz i had my feelings under control and when i think of it i have immense personal satisfaction on me. Ya she's cool. May be she's the perfect match!! But i ain't gonna find out. Let time decide what is best for me or if anything is real good for me. So I've changed i don't fall in love for no reason now. And i'm so happy about it too.

And of coz the big news. Me and my team is through to the imaginecup second round!! oh yaaa we r!!! whoop whoop..

Well there isn't much change in my life other than my emotional changeover which I think is for my own best. And of coz I'll make it a point to write here pretty frequently....