Cmon...moi that unimportant!!!!! WTF was I thinking!!!

Ok this sukzz. Well it didn't start out that bad. It all started with a friends B'day treat. One of my friends who was going out with one of Jello's friends invited me and another friend of me to help them out in a project. Thou I was a bit lousy getting into this given my previous experience I just thought it maybe for a good cause (Helping out). Anyway my friend was all hyped up about this and I was dragged on to this. Well I had the 1st ever meeting with a client in a bit of a professional level. Well to be frank the only professional thing about our meeting was tea!! Which our client bought us generously. Jello wasn't there. Heard she was inside a lecture. Which obviously meant that these women were cutting lectures. Couldn't really accuse them of anything thanks for the fact that I was cutting my lectures too!!! Anyway 4gt about those plastics.. All the while they were explaining this question they made remarks such as "Ane mei gollo hari shok ne..." "Hari sweet ane.." Was thinking to my self and was saying "Ya my ass.." Plastics all the way.

Anyway our rendezvous with the plastics ended and we went off to play cricket. Had an awesome time. And the plastics even came to the field and got me a printed version of the question. Well have to say one woman who was with'em didn't really suite be called a plastic. So this particular team was made up with the 2 plastic chiks Jello and the other non plastic woman. Guess she's organic or what ever.

Was dead tired when I came back home but started doing the presentation. And then only it struck to me that Oh no, this is damn hard. I had to go through endless search pages read'em and simplify'em and write them in my own words. Thank god we had Operating systems last semester which really helped me. I was suppose to mail this presentation before 10.30 p.m to Jello. well it was 10.15 and I still had about 5-6 slides left and none of the animations and effects were really finished. Then one of the plastics called me up and told me to bring the presentation tomorrow morning. I said ok and finished the Presentation some where around 12:30. By the time I had dozed off a couple of times infront of the computer and my eyes hurt really badly. And of coz Contession bugged me too.

And then woke up in the morning when my phone rang, which displayed a land line no. I was like WTF this early, who the hell is this. Then I got the feeling that this might be one of the plastics. And I answered. My voice was all hoarse and my head was all turning. Ohh it was Jello. She had expected my mail last night and was checking whether I had mailed it. And of course I hadn't. So it happened and I got dressed and was off to SLIIT.

Gave the presentation in the morning. Was juz me and Jello in the morning at the labs. And I must have mumbled about ummm... 10 words all the while? Ya I guess. Anyway I gave it and after a while her friends showed up. I gave a breif explanation about the show and retired to play ET with my friends.

And then in the evening Contession came up and bugged me saying I got a call in the morning. Was wandering..hmm how did she know?? and she told me that Jello got the no from her. I didn't want to get bugged furthermore so I went off. And then it got into my mind wait a sec Jello had called me several times before. That was back when I did her 1st Presentation. So why ask for my no? Of coz I dunnno whether it was my right brain or my left brain which answered saying "Duh idiot she doesn't have it...And why the fuk should she ever have it...." Reality check 1.1

No wonder why there was no reply from Jello for my new year wishes(embarrassing even when I recall it). Reality check 1.2. Well it was the real story. What was I thinking in the first place. Who am I to even have a crush on some one like Jello? Skinny, small, piece of joke to even think of some one like that?? duh! Reality check 1.3. Thats when it all really struck me. I wonder how many people really even know me seriously except for the fact that I'm a real piece of joke at SLIIT(For that fact my whole life time). I always wandered what people thought of me. How they sized me up. How seriously they took my feelings, my opinions and of course what I care. Most importantly how important I was for them as a person. Well a chain reaction of thoughts just carried me to the ends of my personality.

I know for a fact that a reality check is never easy for me. I mean when was it easy? Well this time around I felt really unimportant. Anyway 2nd semester kikn off....Groups have been assigned for the projects. And oh Boy I've got no idea who'll be my new team mates!!!

After a while

Well its been like 6 months b4 i posted any thing. Well i thought of starting my blog again
Things have changed all right. Met friends, failed exams, passed exams e.t.c ......
Country has changed as well....My favorite past times has also changed.....
Ok lets start from some where....hmm.....Well big news I've completed my 1st year at uni.....
Passed all 5 subjects and i'm rollin ahead on to the second year...And of coz as expected i failed ma cima exams ....This time 2 subjects....:-(....Well in the brighter side of life I quit Cima at least its over....At last i guess a nightmare is over......

I've met a lot of people. Well friends u could say. Had some fun times. But had my ups and downs here and there. Mainly I was damn depressed wen i was stuck inside my home...Caged bird . No where to fly I was really lonely. For a moment I wish I had a girl...;-)

Anyway got through those rough patches mainly bcoz of ma frnds. Hanging around them made me feel at ease. Well the other big news was my mom and sis went abroad. India actually. For 10 days. It was juz me and dad all 10 days.

I started badminton and chess at sliit..lol. Well seems to be interesting. And my chess moves, well forget about it, it would take me at least another 10 games before I regain my sight....
Well I'm not taking any of my games that serious. Just playing for the fun of it.

My favorite pas time has changed to Fight club. Well its an application inside facebook. Spends a lot of time there hanging around killing time. I've been spending awful lot of time in front of the computer lately. Well i have to say my life is starting to become really dull. Lately i have been reminiscing about my life how it has been and how it shall progress. Sometimes i feel really lonely.I feel a touch a helpless when that happens....

Well sumthing did happen. lastweek i got lost in the mountains for my vacation. Well with family and friends. My friends cousin was there. Whom I thought was really cute. Well when the trip ended it wasn't like before. Something had happened. Coz i knew for sure while we were there something had happened between us. I was damn confused and i didn't know what to do. So i juz let it be. But when i came home only i knew that something was missin...And that was dreadful. I knew for a fact that i wont meet her anytime soon. And that thought was awful.

I'm so confused. I'm having an emotional breakdown. Too many emotions criss crossing my brain!!! And i dont know what to hope for......

Inverse!!!!

Well it's juz the opposite of the previous week......Every things juz changed upside down. Well overall it was a real good week. Compared to that shit week I had before. Well 1st things first. It was the "GET". It was juz fun from the word go. Got really wasted that night. And partyed till ma legs were numb. Chiks were all over the place. Both from Sliit and from outside. And of coz ma chief guest crush was there too.She looked really nice in a saree... Was gleaming off the crowd for me!!!! But as usual I couldn't get my self together and go ask her out. Well can be excused for the fact that the crush is juz a week or 2 old but the atmosphere and the event was surely made for the occasion. Nywayz other than that had the time of ma life over there. But the guys who did the dj sukd to the max. Poor music and sounds was a real glitch...
Nyway the crowd and the attitude of the ppl made it goin real fun..

Well now lets see the opposites. Last week this particular girl was gonna be there in my cima class which was real annoying thing for me. But all of a sudden she has dropped the subject and that worry is sort of over.

Last week I was sorta blooming with my new found crush. But this guy who use to be one of my friends was actually having a go at her. The shit was that this particular guy is actually from her same batch and is actually quite a good friend f her. Now this would only spell one thing and that's "B.U.L.L...S.H.I.T". I'm sorta out of sorts these days. Coz this guy actually knows me having a crush on this gal, and things aren't that good between us. Although we talk and smile face to face things aren't good inside. I don knw what should I do...Shoud i juz giv way for him and CRUSH MY CRUSH?????

I don knw...... But if somethings gonna happen, it's gonna happen pretty soon. But there's something that I know pretty well, and that's CHIKS AND ME IS SOMETHING WORLDS APART. I've never found myself comfortable with this matter at any point of my life. Juz that I can make friends pretty easily, but can't get myself together to go the distance!!!! So I'm not having very high hopes in this issue aswl.

These kinda stuffs pretty usual for me so I don't get depressed or fall mentally when sumtn goes wrong. Juz that I pick myself from the place where I fell and move on, not correcting myself though. For if I did, these things wouldn't have been repeated!!!!

Identity crisis

Well now this is really strange. For the first time in my life I'm sort of feeling isolated. This is really weird. Coz I'm feeling this in the most strangest of the places. It's at SLIIT. Where I've met with a serious problem of picking my friends. This is really strange coz all this started with one of my best friends going abroad who was sort of the last guy of our clan who I use to hang around with. I mean all this time when people were leaving I sort of never had that lonely kind of feeling. Coz this particular friend of mine and myself use to hang around a lot. And all of a sudden when he went I was sort of hit with a cement block. The most strange thing is that usually where ever I go I find people who I think would suit me the best to hang around. But strangely enough it never happened at sliit.



I've got an identity crisis at Sliit. Coz I can't figure out what kind of a person I should be. I'm not myself to start with. And I can't discover myself there as well. Wish I had my old friends there. Coz I feel really comfortable to hang around with them. I've got friends there and very good ones too but now as I look back at what I had, it's sort of this vacuum yet to be filled. I don't think I'll ever be my self at sliit and I'll never try, for what I've learned is that it would only be in vain. Yeah I know I've boasted about Sliit in one of my previous posts. But the times were different then. My former clan was quite intact. And we use to do all these crazy stuff together. Now only I've figured out that even then I 've had a friendship crisis at Sliit juz that it was over shadowed by the presence of my old friends. Now our old clan's in tatters. Only a few left and just as busy as I am.


And now for the first time in my life I feel really lonely. I guess this is what life is all about. Guess this the harsh truth about life and would be part of my learning process on my way to maturity as a complete person ready to greet more harsh facts on life.

Hope some thing big would happen and change everything to pick me up to start from where I left over..........