The long goodbye starts now... :'(

Whoa its been one hell of a ride these days. Everything has happened since my last post. Kind of confused right now. Certain things shall be censored for obvious things from this post. Given the fact of my dumb and foolish acts this blog ain't anonymous anymore. So most people know who I am. Darn!!!

So to the big topic. I'll be off the island paradise in another 4 days...:'( Yeah my visa got stamped for the great out back (Aussie). So i thought of writing something now. Of course most of my things are packed and I'm like jobless for the rest of the days. Guess i'm heading for an emotional disaster. Now i'm slowly starting to feel that feeling of loneliness which is slowly engulfing me in this strange bubble. As i say goodbye to my friends one by one the hole widens in my heart as a wretched sinking feeling slowly sets in. Guess this is what life is all about.

Anyway the last couple of days or so has been like a dream ride. My farewell party at mount beach was awesome!!! Got drunk with wings. Smirnoff with vodka wasn't juz a good cocktail it made us all fly. Was out of this world and hardly remember what really happened. So no point talking about it. It was followed up with the India vs Sri Lanka match. It was a sure blast. Our players gav it a good fight till the end. We may hav lost, but the atmosphere was juzt blasting. Cricket matches juz rock the hell out of us.

Last time i posted about my B'day. Well it was a total blast. I somehow managed to balance all of my guest with a deal with the devil. Any way it pulled off well. hmm well had two day outs with my frnds. One down south with bonnys frnds (chiks). Had a lot of fun there with them in the beach. The other one was a lunch in Kurunegala. it was awesome too. It was with sweet akkis gang. Unfortunately she couldn't make it bcoz her mom was sick (hope she's alright). Any way it was a really good day out. Loved it all the way.

Ohh almost forgot.. haha One of ma frnds sisters wedding. Omg how could I. Let me juz say it was a booze wedding. We all got drunk and danced the night away. It was in the bluewaters and was filled with white chiks haha.

Well guess the most important of stuff should come last. Wel I wont mention much about this for certain reasons. But let me juz say that i confessed. why now? It's a bit puzzling for me too. I really badly and frustratedly want her to feel good and hav a speedy recovery.

My point of views..... Was so amazed at how lucky i hav such a good set of frnds. I mean certain issues had made me think that how unlucky some people were when it came to friends. Well then again those certain people of course ummm let me juz say I had a pretty good understanding about'em for some time. And of coz there are these certain people no matter what we try to to pen there eyes they juz no only one thing. And that's to close it as if they've not seen anything. Then only I've realized my mistake. That I've gone back to my old profile. That of making people the way I think is right. How fukin wrong I am. To get involved in other peoples lives!!! fuk me!! In defense of my self let me just say i couldn't just hide my opinion. And of course I tried my best to keep it shut and then again these people just forced me into giving my opinions. This of coz is far away from the great matter i got involved. Which of coz in that case I'm so happy. I feel so light and really happy i actually did that.

That's it from me... over and out...
ciao ;)

Dull unsophistacated and uncomplexed...That would be my life!!

It's like coming to this grim realization at the end of the day, after what ever said and done my life is still the same. Nothing's changed. I tried so hard to change me. But it's not working. The only thing which has changed is the point of view in which I look at the world. A more matured point of view I wonder?? Hmm well I dunno. So strange that I can't figure out myself after 21 years!!

My life is so uncomplicated. I don't have to think so hard to make decisions on my life. And worst of them all it's so predictable(except for the exams). Yeah my exams are like the only drama I get in my life. Other drama, I create myself to appease myself. And when all is done I reminisce about it and I like hav this feeling at the back of my head telling me " U did it for yourself mate".

Even my physique hasn't changed in ages. Same old me!! My weight of coz hasn't budged from around (42-45)!! I'm a freaking walking skeleton!! As astounding as it may sound. It really bothers me. I'm really worried about myself. Hmm whining I guess now I am.....

Nothings been wrong last couple of weeks. I got through my exams. Connected with my cousins after ages. Met my friends.. OH and got sick!! I love that one i guess. That's at least drama. After once in a while. I can talk about it. I actually Wikipedia all my ailments and all the medicine I got. It was so fascinating to learn about what u get and what u hav.

Had a night out with some of my friends. It was really cool. Once in a while to booze out in the beach, in the night too. Got a busy schedule coming up. Got the colors night of the uni day after tomorrow. And am so confused on what am I suppose to do with my B'day. Coz the guest list seems to be a bit too big!!!

And I dunno These days am havn doubts abt some ppl. Questioning there motives. hidden agendas. And i'm really striving to get answers about them. What are these people really upto?? Who knows..... Over and out...

Ciao

New me.... I guess... I wish.....

Well the transformaton is done i guess.  The profile change has taken it's effets on me lately.  Well I sort of feel it.  I love the more solitary life which i tend to have hated most time in my life.  It's seems to me that there's more to be discovered among yourself than in others.  And slowly I walk the path of rediscovering my self.  Distancing myself from society has been an integral part of my new profile change.

Well it's better to roughout whats's been hapening in the last few months.   As I'm Bloggin after a lapse of about 1-2 months.  Time flew by as fast as it could ever.  It was incredulously fast.  Well it had reasons to be so fast.  Of course the major fact been our project.  The semester long pain in our ass.  I sort of got through the project pretty fine, I guess.  And the experience was.... I dunoo, new?  it would be more of an overstatement to mention it as something new.  The people involved in it may be new but the work involved was certainly, bitterly and exhaustingly uneventful and had an air of been used.  Which if blamed should be upon my account, given the poor leadership qualities I have shown.  Although my team members may disagree on this fact I personally think I should rework my leadership skills in a major way.  Any how we managed to scape the project without that much of a hassale.  Well at the end enjoyed some innocent pride which poured in from some corner which made me feel quite good :)

Well thats just one aspect of my last few months.  The other one of course was the year end examination.  Well this was one exam that I actually did study a bit.  And today when I'm writing this entry I'm expecting results of this exam within the next 24 hours.  That's if SLIIT live's up to it's punctuality!!!  The exams was a mixture of exhaustion and unceratainty.  Coz the papers were designed in such a way that none of us were really sure about what we were about to expect.  We'll see that tommorrow. *fingers crossed.

Of course the other major topic.  My travel plans to the great outback!!.  That would be Aussie.  It seems Sri Lanka is categorized as a level 4 country in the latest rankings put up by the Aussie Foreign Dep't.  Thats all shit coz that would only mean more restrictions on what we have to show!! An yway I got my offer lettter from the Uni. And I'm now waiting for the final results to show up.  And I'm so nervous about it as well.

And now for the people update.  Hmm... Well I got to know about this beautiful young lady whom I met from my project(think I mentioned earlier in another entry).  Actually I've known her since before the project but only the project made me get to talk with her and get to know her better.  And I saw a totaly different side of her.  I should say she one of the truely inspiring people I've ever known.  The past couple of months also shed some light about a few people I've known for some time.  Which only made me cement my stance on my new makeoverof my profile.  I mean I was startled at how oppurtunistic people were.  That for certain people friendship is a mere thing that can be played with.  How genuine they were?  What shady ulterior motives that they had to make friends with me.   How they handled certain isssues which were quite sensitive to me.  All these matters which I think lead to revaluate my point of view about these people.  When I saw them turn a blind eye towards some issues and act as if nothing has happened and wanted to justify their actions made me sick.  It's just that yet again I've trusted the wrong people at the wrong hands.

My Health is quite a worry for me these days.  As I've been hit my a multitude of ailments.  So I think I should get some slep tonight.  I'll continue this post tommorrow night hopefuly that is. ;)

Departed, farewell

Well life it is.... We are born for one thing. And that's death. We all die one day, Juz that when it'll embrace us is the big question. One of my friends (and relative) embraced it last week. Which was a shocker which took me out of no where. I was really taken back with this, Reminding me of how fragile life is. Resistance is futile, juz that u Should do something to make it better and definitely not longer. And I'm sure my friend had done all the things right to make his life better and not longer. His untimely death was no means a thing to be sad about juz because how well and full he lived all his short life, would make it look as if he may have outlived most of the sinners in this world. Only an angel can be even compared to this friend of mine who was truly good at heart. Guess all good things have to come to an end.

What amazes me is that I can't think nothing he ever did to break someone or hurt someone. How innocent and genuine he was. I thought for myself that he never belonged here. Guess this is natures way of balancing good and evil. We sinners juz have to watch em all good men die.

Farwell my friend... May you attain Nirvana... Eternal bliss.....:'(

Ohhh..Not again...Hav my excuses..

Shit... I know it's been way to long for me to make a post. But this time its for real. Moi really busy these days. It's the darn project that's ticked me off for good. Its juz too much for an average 21 year old to handle. Any way, where to start? So much has happened the past few days.

Hmm well I never thought I would have to mention about Jello here. But yes I have to. Some shit has happened and by now I guess its juz ok. But juz to make a note I would have to mention wht really happened. I got to know from Contession that jello has told her to ask something from me. Hmm alrit whats this? Well it seems this guy (I assume she's goin out with) had told her that I'm talkin bull about him. * Screach to a break!! Whoa now hold on a sec. What was that again?? Yep you heard me right. What the fuck I hardly knows the guys name. And I'm suppose to talk bull about him!!! Get a life pal I thouht for my self. I actualy didn't even go talk with him. It's his problem aight? He should come and talk with me. He didn't come and talk either.

Out of all the bull shit it's been all up and down. Sigiriya ofcouse, the batch trip. OMG juz was an awesome ime we had. Juz blasted our selves. ANd yeah no booze!!! U imagine that we juz blasted ourselves withput a single drop of alcohol. So its possible.

Got my IELTS results. Got thru it. But it seems my semester GPA has dropped drastically coz of my Imagincup endeavour......

Project update... Submitted the proposal, the SRS and had our prototype presentation. Well all of them were cool I guess. Well I hope so. I did screw some stuff though as the leader. Take full reponsibility for my actions. But then again does it really matter. Coz it want change anything would it? ButI have to say that I have been working my ass off last few days for this so called project.

SLIIT is juz awesome as ever before. Guess thats what really makes life roll. I mean amidst all this chaos, downs and frustration the people who are really close to you they juz make u roll. I'm so happy that I have a lot of people who can make me feel better when things ain't that well.

Guess thats my update after a long time. Oh and have to say my bus ride's got a lot more eventful lately. If u know what I mean ;)

Someone revealed | Tired

Well, something juz made me forget about someone, which was pretty hard for me to do for sometime now. And this someones true nature is so perplexing. It seems that people around this someone (I mean the people really close to this one) hardly knows of this persons double life. I particularly sympathize on someone I know who trust this someone too badly. And if this someone I know, gets to know about this I really don't know what this someone would do. So let's just say I really don't know about it.

But I'm sure this will come out soon enough so that everyone would know. Whats so strange is that I have no clue whatsoever for why this person is hiding this from the rest of the world? Well then this someone may have their own reasons. So may it be. Well the someone I know who knows this someone thinks they know about this someone. And I feel pity that this someone has betrayed the someone I know badly. From what I know the someone I know cares a lot about this someone. And this someone has mislead them all.

So tired thanx to our projects. Had to go out with my team to get information about the system that we are going to build. Came back and started to work furiously on writing the project proposal. It's a piece of shit. Got to write our ass of to fulfill the needs of our dear beloved project lecturer. Apparently who seem to be the most cursed person at SLIIT right now! Anyway I'm dead tired frustrated yet so cool thanks to my friends.

Responsibility || This is the reality check when it comes to responsibilites for me

I don't think I've been this tired my life concerning my academic life. The project has taken it's toll on me. It seems not just the physical effort you put into it that counts. But the mental stress you go through to get your act together.. This would have been a different story if I wasn't to be the leader. But here I'm leading a bunch of strangers. Well with leadership comes responsibility. And it was a strange feeling for me when people were actually looking at me to guide them. They were expecting me to make decisions. Not just decisions correct ones for that matter.

I have lead people before but this time circumstances were different. Different scenario altogether. These people, I never knew them before. And of cause except for a few most are average students. So it's up to me to get this group straight and take it forward. So may it be. This feeling for the first time gave me goose bumps. Was so uncomfortable to know that there isn't anyone else but it's just me. Darn!!

The whole weekend I was tired. Had to visit several companies to check out projects. And finally we found one. Which is a leading cable company in Sri Lanka. So it's crunch time. We have to pull our selves together and beat the deadlines which seem to loom over us like huge black thunder clouds.

I had my IELTS exams. I really don't want to comment about it for the time being. I'm so nervous about this project scene. Simply because my decisions would be under the microscope. And I'm feeling the heat. Hope I'll do well just for the sake of me and my other fellow team members.